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What would you do?

#1 2021-10-13 8:33am

ConcreteTrash
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What would you do?

My 2nd grade son was in the library at school yesterday. He asked for permission to use the restroom and he was told no. As a result, he shit his pants and we were called to come pick him up. We were told that he couldn't come back today as a result also. They want the kids home for 24 hrs if they are experiencing any kind of sickness. He had an upset stomach for a cpl days prior. I'm not the smartest when it comes to legal matters but this caused him humiliation in front of other people. Should I be in their face asking why he was told no about using the restroom?


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#2 2021-10-13 8:36am

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Re: What would you do?

ConcreteTrash wrote:

My 2nd grade son was in the library at school yesterday. He asked for permission to use the restroom and he was told no. As a result, he shit his pants and we were called to come pick him up. We were told that he couldn't come back today as a result also. They want the kids home for 24 hrs if they are experiencing any kind of sickness. He had an upset stomach for a cpl days prior. I'm not the smartest when it comes to legal matters but this caused him humiliation in front of other people. Should I be in their face asking why he was told no about using the restroom?

Man sucks to hear, I definitely would be asking wtf, had to be super embarrassing for him,


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#3 2021-10-13 8:46am

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Re: What would you do?

I'd be going straight to the top and get the answers I want or push it even further.


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#4 2021-10-13 8:56am

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Re: What would you do?

I've run into situations in the past with my son's teachers and administrators who have given him (and his class) some weird ass directives. I have told my son that if he needs to go to the bathroom to be respectful and ask - if denied and still needs to go to then just go. I have promised him that I will deal with any and all fallout - and I have. There are numerous medical reasons that can result from not answering the call of nature in a timely manner, in addition to the humiliation factor your son was forced to deal with.

My son tells me (he's in grade 8 now), that the administration treat him well, because they are 'scared of me'....lol. Take no Bovine Effluent Stream and go to the top if need be.


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#5 2021-10-13 9:52am

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Re: What would you do?

Axel10 wrote:

I've run into situations in the past with my son's teachers and administrators who have given him (and his class) some weird ass directives. I have told my son that if he needs to go to the bathroom to be respectful and ask - if denied and still needs to go to then just go. I have promised him that I will deal with any and all fallout - and I have. There are numerous medical reasons that can result from not answering the call of nature in a timely manner, in addition to the humiliation factor your son was forced to deal with.

My son tells me (he's in grade 8 now), that the administration treat him well, because they are 'scared of me'....lol. Take no Bovine Effluent Stream and go to the top if need be.

Sounds like you're a great parent, I agree with your approach. I remember being in school and they'd ask if going to the bathroom was an emergency. What difference does it make, I probably use the can hourly at work due to my water intake. They're kids, cut them some slack

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#6 2021-10-13 10:00am

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Re: What would you do?

It is always helpful to get the facts before responding.  It is worth finding out who exactly denied your child the right to use the facilities, speaking to that person to get the background on what happened.  If you are not satisfied then you can escalate by asking for a meeting with an administrator to get an explanation.  Gather all the information about what happened then decide what to do.  Expressing concern is appropriate, though creating friction is unnecessary.  If there is a medical reason this might recurr, you could file a 504 plan that would allow for bathroom breaks.

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#7 2021-10-13 10:03am

ConcreteTrash
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Re: What would you do?

Oh don't get me wrong, he has been told right from wrong. When I asked why he didn't go anyway, he said he didn't want to get in trouble. Understandable. However, I think someone should have to answer for why he was told no when it was clearly a case of "need to go now".


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#8 2021-10-13 10:04am

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Re: What would you do?

I would try and talk to the teacher first, purely to gather information but then don't look to resolve anything at that level. Take the information to the principal/administration first and then to the school board if you need to escalate further.

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#9 2021-10-13 10:32am

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Re: What would you do?

I swear that all kids should be home schooled from here on out. We can not trust the teachers to do what is right anymore.

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#10 2021-10-13 10:40am

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Re: What would you do?

Kurt_Rad wrote:

I would try and talk to the teacher first, purely to gather information but then don't look to resolve anything at that level. Take the information to the principal/administration first and then to the school board if you need to escalate further.

+1..reconnaissance..plan formulation..plan execution..exit strategy

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#11 2021-10-13 11:00am

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Re: What would you do?

call the office and request a meeting w/the librarian/teacher and principle.
Make the person explain to you, in front of their boss, why they wouldn't let a kid use the restroom.

When my youngest was in 1st grade he was followed into the restroom by two boys. They kept trying to look at his unit while he was taking a piss. When he was pulling up his pants, one was punching him in the butt cheek, the other was trying to punch his dick.
He'd taken Tae kwon Do for a few months at that time and used it to defend himself. He kicked the guy in front of him in the stomach, turned and did the same to his "ass"ailant.
Then he ran out and told the first teacher he saw what happened.
My wife teaches in the same school district and was called and informed that she'd have to come to the office to get him after school.

Since there is a zero tolerance policy, he was in as much trouble as the two dickwads that attacked him, which greatly upset him as well as us.

I had to explain to him later that I was proud of him for defending himself, and that because of that, it was unlikely that those two would bother him again. I told him that if they did bother him, to kick their asses. I had to explain that there was a huge difference between being in trouble at school and being in trouble at home.

He never did have another problem w/those two asshats.

We have to advocate for our kids in school since they are often very worried about consequences. I can't think of a crappier situation than to be so worried that your kid literally crapped his pants. That teacher/librarian needs to be held accountable.


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#12 2021-10-13 12:20pm

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Re: What would you do?

I’d be filthy if my kid suffered that unnecessary embarrassment. I’d fact find and demand, as stated earlier, to have the person explain his/her reasoning in front of her supervisor.
Failing that I’d find out what car she drove and smear crap over the inside of his/her door handles.

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#13 2021-10-13 12:23pm

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Re: What would you do?

I remember being that age and having teachers deny kids going to the washroom. One kid said F**K it and pissed his pants on purpose in front of the teacher. Then she pulled his pants down in front of the class and spanked him right on the bare ass.

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#14 2021-10-13 12:28pm

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Re: What would you do?

My response would lead to me being in Handcuffs most likely.


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#15 2021-10-13 12:34pm

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Re: What would you do?

LAWSUIT!


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#16 2021-10-13 12:55pm

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Re: What would you do?

I would've flipped my shit (no pun intended) but someone is get an ass chewin from the teacher to the principal.   it already happened in pre school after care when i saw the lady berating and yelling at kids while i was hiding behind the corner.   only reason cause he would come home crying sometimes and we couldnt figure it out, kept grilling him on why but he wouldnt say.  teacher was cool , so only contact he had was aftercare.  lucky she was 70 yrs old,.  principal got an ass chewin and never should that lady be around kids again, she was never there again after that.


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#17 2021-10-13 1:10pm

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Re: What would you do?

I would have been furious and acted but it would have paled in comparison to what my wife would do if that happened to us… That’s why I don’t trust a soul outside of my own door anymore. Seems like people enjoy doing ugly shit to others hmm these schools are something else though man…


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#18 2021-10-13 1:39pm

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Re: What would you do?

All of these just don't sound right at all to me.
It sounds like borderline harassment/abuse.
Do the people in charge of these kids get some sort of enjoyment seeing these kids in some sort of anguish?
I'd be doing what others have said.
Get the person in question to answer questions in front of their boss word for word.

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#19 2021-10-13 2:55pm

ConcreteTrash
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Re: What would you do?

I appreciate all the responses. I'm not lost on what to do. I just wanted to see if anyone agrees with me on possibly going to jail over this shit. I'm furious about it.


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#20 2021-10-13 3:14pm

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Re: What would you do?

Oh I definitely be taken out of the school by the police after what I’d do that the mother fucker that did my kid like that.  And I’d tell him next time just announce what he intended to do as asking for permission is BULSHIT!!

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#21 2021-10-13 3:19pm

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Re: What would you do?

muphasta wrote:

call the office and request a meeting w/the librarian/teacher and principle.
Make the person explain to you, in front of their boss, why they wouldn't let a kid use the restroom.

this ^^^^
dont go to jail for this, show your youngster the proper way to take care of things
calm and cool parents upset at stuff makes a bigger point than screaming or threatening
YOU are better than that teacher, and that principal,  show them THAT cool


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#22 2021-10-13 3:58pm

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Re: What would you do?

kegger wrote:

muphasta wrote:

call the office and request a meeting w/the librarian/teacher and principle.
Make the person explain to you, in front of their boss, why they wouldn't let a kid use the restroom.

this ^^^^
dont go to jail for this, show your youngster the proper way to take care of things
calm and cool parents upset at stuff makes a bigger point than screaming or threatening
YOU are better than that teacher, and that principal,  show them THAT cool

^^^^ these are better ideas than I had^^^^

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#23 2021-10-13 4:57pm

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Re: What would you do?

Teachers need to understand how this can have longer term more severe effects to children as well. Say a child becomes afraid to ask to go to the washroom. So they never ask, even if they have to really bad. Get in the habit of holding too long. Develop a bladder infection.

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#24 2021-10-13 5:05pm

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Re: What would you do?

When a 2nd grade child asks to use the bathroom the teacher should assume they are telling the truth and let them go immediately...this really chaps my hide!
I would definitely speak with this principal about this matter maybe I'm sure this has happened before and If the principal hears about this "he/she/them/they" whatever... should address this issue with the teachers to make sure it doesn't happen again.

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#25 2021-10-13 5:21pm

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Re: What would you do?

Undercover wrote:

kegger wrote:

muphasta wrote:

call the office and request a meeting w/the librarian/teacher and principle.
Make the person explain to you, in front of their boss, why they wouldn't let a kid use the restroom.

this ^^^^
dont go to jail for this, show your youngster the proper way to take care of things
calm and cool parents upset at stuff makes a bigger point than screaming or threatening
YOU are better than that teacher, and that principal,  show them THAT cool

^^^^ these are better ideas than I had^^^^

The thing to keep in mind is that your kid has YEARS of school ahead of them. You really need to be the level headed one as how you react now may effect how your kid reacts to things in school in the future.
They have to know that even though you have their best interests in mind, how you react can have a negative effect on them.
A teacher getting crap from a parent may hold it against the kid.
For instance, the kid gets a 79.9% in the class and technically it is a C, but if the kid has been cool and the parents are supportive, that may turn into a B.

I've been married to a teacher for 23 years and teachers really appreciate parents who understand that stuff happens. This is not something that should have happened though. But how you handle it can set the tone for your kid's education for years.

Do your best to stay calm. The greatest strength is remaining calm on the outside while raging on the inside.

Last edited by muphasta (2021-10-13 5:22pm)


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