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The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.  RSS Feed

#1 2019-04-24 8:54pm

bnd
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The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Last Fall I ended up coaching my 10 yr olds Rec league baseball team, it was very entry level and a great, positive experience all the way around.
This Spring my son wanted to play again so we stepped it up and joined our local Cal Ripken/Babe Ruth League, he's in 11-12 yr old Majors. I became a head coach right off the start & also joined the Board of Directors.

We had tryouts, a draft....we have a division championship & then an All-Star team. It's really pretty competitive without being a high dollar, comp/travel type league.

We have had 3 games, we are 2 wins & 1 tie. Iv'e surrounded myself with great, experienced assistant coaches & a parent who played in the MLB and has been willing to share a lot of knowledge. I told the kids right off the bat that they got drafted to the coolest team in the league, we keep it lite, tell jokes, I'm schooling them on Classic Rock & we are not yellers or screamers. 

I have 11 kids on the team so that means certain kids have to sit out during innings and take their turns. Usually the least skilled are being shuffled in and out of the outfield. It's my job to put the best lineup on the field to give us the best chance to win. Pretty straight forward right?

Well, tonight, 30 minutes before practice I get a call from a Dad, he wants to talk, OK sure, what's up? He proceeds to start off decently but within 4-5 minutes is calling me out because his little Jonny isn't happy being subbed & he doesn't understand as a Dad, why he isn't given an opportunity to play the infield. He starts insulting my coaching, my assistants & basically i'm doing it all wrong. Every kid should be plugged into every position so they can get the experience, win or lose. Did I mention his kid is the least skilled on the team? He's lazy, doesn't hustle and barely listens at times. He can't catch, throw or run. I like him though, nice kid.

I told him I didn't agree with one of his takes, playing time is earned in practice, and I kept my cool, well, he just went off on me, so much so I just let him yell at me for what seemed forever & then after he stopped, I asked if he was done, I raised my voice a bit, then it was all I could do NOT to tell this guy to F**K off. I told him I would get back with him with some answers to his questions, so I called the President of the League and after I told her what happened, she told me she couldn't believe I put up with that abuse. She said they pride themselves on BEING a competitive league & if he doesn't like it, he can talk to her or leave. She said she agreed on everything I told him.

So after about 20 minutes of getting schooled of what my powers are being a coach, I called the Dad back but of course he wouldn't answer. He dropped his kid off and sped off. I told the other assistants what happened and they couldn't believe it.

The last time I was talked to like that was 15 years ago by an ex-boss and I deserved it. I have a limit and that guy crossed it, I was just unsure if I would of gotten in trouble with the league telling him to go to hell.

This is the first & last time I ever take any shit from a parent.

Anybody in the same boat or was in the past?

b.


I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

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#2 2019-04-24 9:20pm

turdburd
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Know from talking to a few people who coach and volunteer this is about par for the course. Sounds like the guy should work with his kid on the side and maybe that could help both of them. Maybe getting the son more playing time and dad could work out his own issues.
Good you kept your cool with the parent. Because if you would have went off on him he would have portrayed himself as a innocent victim to the league and try to get you kicked out.
Keep it cool for the kids so they enjoy this and hopefully better because of that.


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#3 2019-04-24 9:21pm

Jettn25
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Put the kid at 3rd base and have him lead off. That will make your point without having to say anything else, most likely.
Nip it at the bud early
Sucks for the kid but you have to make it look like you're giving him a shot, since hes a good kid. Too bad his dads a assho.


If winning isn't everything then why do they keep score?

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#4 2019-04-24 9:42pm

jberg27
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Jettn25 wrote:

Put the kid at 3rd base and have him lead off. That will make your point without having to say anything else, most likely.
Nip it at the bud early
Sucks for the kid but you have to make it look like you're giving him a shot, since hes a good kid. Too bad his dads a assho.

This is great advice if the rest of the parents are understanding of what is going on.  If they are ultra-competitive then you get everyone else mad.  I don't do baseball, but have seen similar challenges in flag football.  TB hit the nail on the head too; its unlikely this dad is investing any of his own time trying to improve his son's skills.  I wish you good luck, you are doing the lord's work donating your time to these kids.

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#5 2019-04-24 9:53pm

Garcia_58
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Yup, some parents don't get it.  Not as bad, but bad.  About seven years ago my eight year old son wanted to join the soccer league at our local park.  During his third season I was forced to coach the team, a very lousy team.  There was this one kid Sebastian, who could not run, kick or pay attention.  His grandfather would complain during passing and striking drills because Sebastian would play goalie every time.   I understood the man's frustration, but the team needed to learn how to have an organized passing attack.  I had to ask that man to leave a game because of his bitching.  Sebastian played the minimum allowed and where he would be the least needed.  One Saturday morning before our first play-off match, play-offs?, every team made the play-offs, grandpa gave me an ultimatum. "Sebastian plays forward or he goes home", I told him I did not see him playing that position.  Grandpa takes him away, what a douche.  We somehow won that game 1-0, we were 3-5 that season and we beat one of the better teams.  I later found out that Sebastian refused to go home and stayed watched the match. I felt so bad for him.  I called his mother and she drove him to the Pizza-Hut where we were celebrating.  He played in the next play-off match, we lost 3-1. 

I did not coach again.  I never saw Sebastian again.  My son played his last four seasons, two seasons per year, on the same team.  They went 50-1-1, this team was ridiculous.  They would play friendly matches against travel teams and win at times.  During that stretch there were so many a-hole parents from the opposition.  I guess loosing 8-2 or so does that.


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#6 2019-04-25 5:28am

hurlz
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

jberg27 wrote:

Jettn25 wrote:

Put the kid at 3rd base and have him lead off. That will make your point without having to say anything else, most likely.
Nip it at the bud early
Sucks for the kid but you have to make it look like you're giving him a shot, since hes a good kid. Too bad his dads a assho.

This is great advice if the rest of the parents are understanding of what is going on.  If they are ultra-competitive then you get everyone else mad.  I don't do baseball, but have seen similar challenges in flag football.  TB hit the nail on the head too; its unlikely this dad is investing any of his own time trying to improve his son's skills.  I wish you good luck, you are doing the lord's work donating your time to these kids.

I would never humiliate a kid because of his parents words.

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#7 2019-04-25 6:19am

jberg27
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

hurlz wrote:

jberg27 wrote:

Jettn25 wrote:

Put the kid at 3rd base and have him lead off. That will make your point without having to say anything else, most likely.
Nip it at the bud early
Sucks for the kid but you have to make it look like you're giving him a shot, since hes a good kid. Too bad his dads a assho.

This is great advice if the rest of the parents are understanding of what is going on.  If they are ultra-competitive then you get everyone else mad.  I don't do baseball, but have seen similar challenges in flag football.  TB hit the nail on the head too; its unlikely this dad is investing any of his own time trying to improve his son's skills.  I wish you good luck, you are doing the lord's work donating your time to these kids.

I would never humiliate a kid because of his parents words.

I guess I didn't equate giving him an opportunity to succeed or fail as humiliation.  Perhaps the kid is able to step up when given the chance and if not he/she should be able to assess what they need to work on.

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#8 2019-04-25 9:12am

spyker
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

It is not your fault his kid cannot play worth a darn! You have a difficult decision to make,sit him out most of the time and let the rest of the team win and have fun,or bring him in and the whole team suffers and get calls from all the parents.I much rather deal with one angry parent vs the whole pack.


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#9 2019-04-25 9:15am

spyker
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

....and he is a complete utter chicken shit for dropping his kid off and speeding away.I guess he is not man enough to scream at you face to face.


Made In Taiwan #1.....You Have Chosen Wisely!  Guaranteed Strength
Would you trust a fat ugly lazy drunk to weld up a frame that will be ridden hard?
$20 goes a long way here
violence solves everything!
never unarmed!
#VOGR
no fijindus

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#10 2019-04-25 9:22am

CKTA
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

It's a thankless job, you never will please everyone and it even had a part in splitting my family up.  My wife and I haven't coached since.

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#11 2019-04-25 10:25am

Arsenal2012
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

I hated kids baseball. It was always boring, you stand there and wait for Sh*t to happen and as a kid with energy I was always doing other crap and getting in trouble.

Regardless you drafted the kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His dad has a point get his kid exposure in other positions. Nothing worse than sitting in outfield.

Competitive or not. Kid will never get better if you only put him in one position. Play him infield in practice and when you play weaker teams or have a nice lead give him a shot in games.


“We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”
- 451* F

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#12 2019-04-25 12:41pm

bnd
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

I didn’t draft him, he was added along with another after sign ups and tryouts were over.
Last night at practice, I put him at 2nd base, we were practicing 1st to 2nd steals, the kid had probably 2 dozen throws to him and honestly caught 1 or 2.
I also asked him if he’s been practicing at home during off days like I ask all the kids to do, he said no. His dad stated he has so he got caught in a lie about that.

Every kid on my team is getting a ton of playing time at skill positions. Game time, you get put where I think is best, just like any other coach trying to do his job.

b.


I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

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#13 2019-04-25 12:43pm

Arsenal2012
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

bnd wrote:

I didn’t draft him, he was added along with another after sign ups and tryouts were over.
Last night at practice, I put him at 2nd base, we were practicing 1st to 2nd steals, the kid had probably 2 dozen throws to him and honestly caught 1 or 2.
I also asked him if he’s been practicing at home during off days like I ask all the kids to do, he said no. His dad stated he has so he got caught in a lie about that.

Every kid on my team is getting a ton of playing time at skill positions. Game time, you get put where I think is best, just like any other coach trying to do his job.

b.

Sounds like all you care about is winning. hmm


“We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”
- 451* F

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#14 2019-04-25 12:46pm

bnd
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Garcia_58 wrote:

Yup, some parents don't get it.  Not as bad, but bad.  About seven years ago my eight year old son wanted to join the soccer league at our local park.  During his third season I was forced to coach the team, a very lousy team.  There was this one kid Sebastian, who could not run, kick or pay attention.  His grandfather would complain during passing and striking drills because Sebastian would play goalie every time.   I understood the man's frustration, but the team needed to learn how to have an organized passing attack.  I had to ask that man to leave a game because of his bitching.  Sebastian played the minimum allowed and where he would be the least needed.  One Saturday morning before our first play-off match, play-offs?, every team made the play-offs, grandpa gave me an ultimatum. "Sebastian plays forward or he goes home", I told him I did not see him playing that position.  Grandpa takes him away, what a douche.  We somehow won that game 1-0, we were 3-5 that season and we beat one of the better teams.  I later found out that Sebastian refused to go home and stayed watched the match. I felt so bad for him.  I called his mother and she drove him to the Pizza-Hut where we were celebrating.  He played in the next play-off match, we lost 3-1. 

I did not coach again.  I never saw Sebastian again.  My son played his last four seasons, two seasons per year, on the same team.  They went 50-1-1, this team was ridiculous.  They would play friendly matches against travel teams and win at times.  During that stretch there were so many a-hole parents from the opposition.  I guess loosing 8-2 or so does that.

Jeezus Christ, sucks to hear that story. Last year we had a grandpa coaching his player from the stands. The player got so flustered he started crying in the dugout. My wife went over and consoled him. She then called the mom, explained what happened and pops kept his mouth shut afterwards.

Good people get ruined really fast being coaches.
b.


I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

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#15 2019-04-25 1:46pm

tacoman
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Ha!

Coached my kids team too.  8U and 10u. 
He is now on an 11U travel team (I dont coach).

Unskilled kids in a competitive environment need to be tucked away in right field.
Putting someone like that at SS, S or Third (the hot box) is asking for trouble.
A hot line drive + potential injury puts things into perspective real quick.
You said the kid played 2nd base at practice and caught 2 out 12 throws that came his way...  11/12u - and "travel" like??   That kid is gonna get rocked..  Dangerous...

What I have done in situations like that....when we played lesser skilled teams or if we put up a heck of a lot of runs early (and opposing team had weak bats)….I rotated kids like crazy.
You will always have 1 wacko who thinks their kid is the next Bryce Harper (1st or 2nd time playing baseball...ever) and their kid needs to be in the mix of things in order to enhance skills and go pro...  lol

Gotta crawl before you can walk...
Much easier and less dangerous to learn the game in T-ball (for example) vs playing with 11/12 year olds.
Hell...most of the lesser skilled players have been weeded out by the time they play in 11/12u (i.e. baseball is not my thing).

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#16 2019-04-25 1:57pm

spyker
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Arsenal2012 wrote:

bnd wrote:

I didn’t draft him, he was added along with another after sign ups and tryouts were over.
Last night at practice, I put him at 2nd base, we were practicing 1st to 2nd steals, the kid had probably 2 dozen throws to him and honestly caught 1 or 2.
I also asked him if he’s been practicing at home during off days like I ask all the kids to do, he said no. His dad stated he has so he got caught in a lie about that.

Every kid on my team is getting a ton of playing time at skill positions. Game time, you get put where I think is best, just like any other coach trying to do his job.

b.

Sounds like all you care about is winning. hmm

Strike first,strike hard...no mercy!


Made In Taiwan #1.....You Have Chosen Wisely!  Guaranteed Strength
Would you trust a fat ugly lazy drunk to weld up a frame that will be ridden hard?
$20 goes a long way here
violence solves everything!
never unarmed!
#VOGR
no fijindus

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#17 2019-04-25 2:10pm

Schmittstix
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Arsenal2012 wrote:

bnd wrote:

I didn’t draft him, he was added along with another after sign ups and tryouts were over.
Last night at practice, I put him at 2nd base, we were practicing 1st to 2nd steals, the kid had probably 2 dozen throws to him and honestly caught 1 or 2.
I also asked him if he’s been practicing at home during off days like I ask all the kids to do, he said no. His dad stated he has so he got caught in a lie about that.

Every kid on my team is getting a ton of playing time at skill positions. Game time, you get put where I think is best, just like any other coach trying to do his job.

b.

Sounds like all you care about is winning. hmm

You cant just put a kid in any position. Each kid needs to learn a (their) position, weather it is right, ss, or catcher. Each position has a role & if a kid is to stubborn to learn the role thinking he could play better in a different position, well then I'm sorry but that will just cement his place in right field. I dont mind moving kids from outfield to the infield but usually there are like 3 not so good kids and the best of those 3 will get 2nd base. Not the one who refuses to hustle and learn his position.    My 2cents


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#18 2019-04-25 2:15pm

Arsenal2012
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

spyker wrote:

Arsenal2012 wrote:

bnd wrote:

I didn’t draft him, he was added along with another after sign ups and tryouts were over.
Last night at practice, I put him at 2nd base, we were practicing 1st to 2nd steals, the kid had probably 2 dozen throws to him and honestly caught 1 or 2.
I also asked him if he’s been practicing at home during off days like I ask all the kids to do, he said no. His dad stated he has so he got caught in a lie about that.

Every kid on my team is getting a ton of playing time at skill positions. Game time, you get put where I think is best, just like any other coach trying to do his job.

b.

Sounds like all you care about is winning. hmm

Strike first,strike hard...no mercy!

lol yeah I was just trolling him at that point tongue

His pops sounds like a piece of work signing the kid up late and then getting pissed even though he is not helping his own son at home.
Why did he put his kid in competitive league is the question hmm

That reminds me Season 2 of Cobra Kai is out now, I need to start watching it big_smile

Last edited by Arsenal2012 (2019-04-25 2:16pm)


“We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”
- 451* F

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#19 2019-04-25 2:41pm

bnd
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

tacoman wrote:

Ha!

Coached my kids team too.  8U and 10u. 
He is now on an 11U travel team (I dont coach).

Unskilled kids in a competitive environment need to be tucked away in right field.
Putting someone like that at SS, S or Third (the hot box) is asking for trouble.
A hot line drive + potential injury puts things into perspective real quick.
You said the kid played 2nd base at practice and caught 2 out 12 throws that came his way...  11/12u - and "travel" like??   That kid is gonna get rocked..  Dangerous...

What I have done in situations like that....when we played lesser skilled teams or if we put up a heck of a lot of runs early (and opposing team had weak bats)….I rotated kids like crazy.
You will always have 1 wacko who thinks their kid is the next Bryce Harper (1st or 2nd time playing baseball...ever) and their kid needs to be in the mix of things in order to enhance skills and go pro...  lol

Gotta crawl before you can walk...
Much easier and less dangerous to learn the game in T-ball (for example) vs playing with 11/12 year olds.
Hell...most of the lesser skilled players have been weeded out by the time they play in 11/12u (i.e. baseball is not my thing).

My catcher is a bonafide stud. Been playing since he was little, his dad played in the mlb, the kid is defiantly going to the next level. He took the Spring off of Comp ball because he’s trying his hand at hockey too.
The kid can seriously throw 80 mph. When he throws a fastball to me I have to pay attention. Most of the kids know to really pay attention. I’m afraid if a whizzed off the bat or a throw from the catcher comes his way in a game, it could end up really bad for the kid.

Good comments & stories. I’ll post up about my next meeting in person with this guy.

b.


I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

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#20 2019-04-25 3:07pm

binman
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

I coached kids rugby for ten years and it is absolutely true that a coach will never please all of the parents. Whatever you change to please one will upset another. Easiest way is to not care about the troublesome parents. Listen to them, let them vent their complaints, then forget them. Treat them as nothing more than a transport system for getting their children to your location.

The parents who realise what kids sports are all about are fantastic and are usually happy to help. We once raised £12,500 (just over $16,000) for a kids rugby tour in just eight months using massive amounts of help from parents.


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#21 2019-04-25 9:31pm

ABA180
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

jberg27 wrote:

hurlz wrote:

jberg27 wrote:


This is great advice if the rest of the parents are understanding of what is going on.  If they are ultra-competitive then you get everyone else mad.  I don't do baseball, but have seen similar challenges in flag football.  TB hit the nail on the head too; its unlikely this dad is investing any of his own time trying to improve his son's skills.  I wish you good luck, you are doing the lord's work donating your time to these kids.

I would never humiliate a kid because of his parents words.

I guess I didn't equate giving him an opportunity to succeed or fail as humiliation.  Perhaps the kid is able to step up when given the chance and if not he/she should be able to assess what they need to work on.

Agreed that everyone deserves that chance..in practice.  Put in the hustle, ask for help, and prove yourself.

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#22 2019-04-25 9:35pm

ABA180
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

My second job is running 2 non-profit dart leagues.  Even dealing with adults, some have the mentality of it's just a night out..which is true, but on my team it's also a night of competition.  Each person can play up to 3 games a night in the league.  I usually play people in at least 2, but the lesser players will be in team games and with a strong partner.  The singles games are top 6 players regardless. 

We have 2 rookies this season.  The past 2-3 weeks they've gotten 1 game each.  Sorry, not sorry..we're in the running for playoffs and they're not cutting it.  I'm not sure either way but I don't think they play other than league night.  Not everyone plays nightly like I do of course, but then again league night is the test..not the time to practice. 

For the record I'm the first person to back myself out of a game if I feel I'm not playing well. The last week of one season I announced that everyone is getting at least 1 game, but I'm not playing..I will coach for the night.  We needed a win and I was the worst player to do that.

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#23 2019-04-25 10:02pm

Gatorpit boy
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Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Tell little Johnny's dad that Johnny is the weakest link on the team . It is not fair to the other 10 kids to get sent to right field . Just so little Johnny's dad can live vicariously through little Johnny . Who you've noticed can use some hand eye coordination.  Maybe some " catch " at home would help.

What you are going through is exactly why I don't coach anymore. Good Luck . Some parents just don't see that their little Johnny is horrible.

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#24 2019-04-25 10:27pm

spyker
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Registered: 2009-11-19
Posts: 30809

Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Arsenal2012 wrote:

spyker wrote:

Arsenal2012 wrote:


Sounds like all you care about is winning. hmm

Strike first,strike hard...no mercy!

lol yeah I was just trolling him at that point tongue

His pops sounds like a piece of work signing the kid up late and then getting pissed even though he is not helping his own son at home.
Why did he put his kid in competitive league is the question hmm

That reminds me Season 2 of Cobra Kai is out now, I need to start watching it big_smile

Parents these days think their kids deserve a medal even if they suck! All they are doing is setting their kid up for big time failure down the rough road of life in the real world.

Already watched the entire second season of Cobra Kai in two days.It is so good.


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#25 2019-04-26 5:53am

jberg27
Pro Member
From: Phoenix, AZ
Registered: 2017-05-28
Posts: 801
Bikes: 33

Re: The youth coaches rant - a$$hole parents.

Gatorpit boy wrote:

Tell little Johnny's dad that Johnny is the weakest link on the team . It is not fair to the other 10 kids to get sent to right field . Just so little Johnny's dad can live vicariously through little Johnny . Who you've noticed can use some hand eye coordination.  Maybe some " catch " at home would help.

What you are going through is exactly why I don't coach anymore. Good Luck . Some parents just don't see that their little Johnny is horrible.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.bmxmuseum.com/user-images/243454/weakest-link5cc2ff57cf.gif

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