Bikes / H / How to tell a BMX parent

 

The following is borrowed from a track newsletter, and is now third or forth hand, with no one knowing which track originated it. When a new parent goes to the track, the first thing they notice is that all of the parents are a close-knit group. It is like one big happy family. This is an elite bunch of people and it doesn't take long for a beginning parent to become accepted as a peer. Every BMX parent wants every other BMX parent to be in the same boat they are in.


You will know that you have truly become a dyed-in-the-wool BMX parent when:

  • You have your dog fixed so you can attend more races
  • You list your dog as part of your pit crew
  • You justify the purchase of a new frame by telling your wife it is a safety item.
  • Your ABA number is printed on your checks
  • You own a clean copy of the movie RAD.
  • You video your kids races including practice.
  • You have a charge account at all the track vendors.
  • You have your BMX parent web page sent by the ABA to other track operators......
  • When you stand for the national anthem and you place one hand over your heart and one hand on your wallet
  • You have a email reply from the President of the ABA framed and hanging on your wall
  • You have the email from BMX Hall of Famer's autographed, appraised and hung on the wall
  • You have a collection of race flyers from various tracks from the last 20 years and spend your spare time organizing them.
  • Someone in your neighborhood asks you how old your kid is and you reply "13X"
  • You automatically load up the bike and you're only going down to the corner store.
  • You fall asleep at the wheel of your car and it takes you to the track instead of home.
  • You are late for work but never late for sign-ups.
  • Your kids bike is insured for more than your car.
  • You develop a craving for hot dogs.
  • You pay a computer programmer a whole lot of money to write a points tracking program.
  • You buy a real expensive laptop to record the points on.
  • You throw out the spare tire in your car trunk to make room for bike parts.
  • Your kids birthday cake has a miniature BMX track on it and all his gifts are BMX parts.
  • You can't decide whether to go to your sister's wedding or to a double points race.
  • A Sunday drive in the country means you're going to a race out of town.
  • The first item on your monthly budget is entry fees and not the mortgage payment.
  • The only clean clothes in the house are a pair of leathers and a jersey.
  • The telephone bill has at least three calls a month to the ABA office.
  • Your internet home page is set to www.ababmx.com
  • The stoplight at the corner turns green and you try for a hole shot.
  • Someone mentions a table top and you look for a pile of dirt.
  • You can't remember the birth dates of your family, but can remember the birth dates of every other kid in your kids class.
  • You try to claim a bike shop on you income tax.
  • You start a BMX business so you can take a tax deduction.
  • No one can understand what you are saying but another BMXer.
  • You are flabbergasted by the price of hamburger at the supermarket but not by the price of a TI bottom bracket.
  • Your kids bike is color coordinated and your living room is not.
  • You think all of the above is gospel truth.

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